Now that you’re settling into marriage, that energizer-bunny-sex-life thing might be waning. Even if that’s not the case, we’ve all got a serious jonesing for some one-on-one intimate time, am I right? Forget about the crazy toys and advice. It’s time to date your way back into the bedroom with some creative ideas that don’t royally suck or break the bank.

Meet Me At Midnight

One of my favourite date night ideas starts when it’s already dark. Send your lover a text, handwritten note or even a message in lipstick over the bathroom sink to meet you at midnight. The location doesn’t matter, but you get bonus points for rooftops, romantic makeout vistas or anywhere you can see the stars. Pack a few candles, a little sweet dessert and lie back to see where the night takes you.
Date Your Way Into The Bedroom

The Pickup Artist

This one requires some role playing, so get your inner big-screen-diva ready. Make plans with your sweetie to meet after work for cocktails. Pretend that you’ve never met one another, and see who can charm the panties off of whom. “Can I buy you a drink?” has a whole new meaning when you know it’ll end up hot and heavy at home (or in the washroom) later.

Teach Me Something New

Ever felt stuck? One of the best ways of getting unstuck according to science is to step out of your comfort zone and to try something new. Teaching your other half how to do it has added benefits too, like making you the teacher and them the student. It’s sexy to be smart! It could be anything: a scuba diving lesson, rock climbing, or poetry. If you can teach your other half something new, insist that they reward you later.

Mangia! Mangia!

Nothing seems to get us in the mood more than the act of eating. It’s sensual. It’s sexy. It’s downright seductive. When we eat, we indulge all of our senses. So skip the garlic and cook your other half a meal, or go out to eat. Bonus points for cooking classes that add an element of learning to eating. Breaking bread together might mean breaking bed for dessert.

The Indulgent Date

Everybody, and I do mean every single person, likes to be pampered. Whether you’re a big tough bloke or a wee petite lady, when someone gives you their undivided time and attention, we all swoon. Use that to your advantage and indulge your partner. Have a date night all about them. Give each other massages. Share a meal. Read a book to one another. Have an intimate conversation where you really listen to one another. Indulge in dessert you love. Take a long walk to enjoy the sunset while holding hands. Indulgent dates are all about attention, so drop the cellphone, put away the laptop and give your other half all of your attention. You will be rewarded.

When you first met your other half, there were fireworks. Marriage doesn’t have to turn them into sparklers. Dating your partner and giving them quality time can work wonders for your sex life. Keeping it intimate between the sheets is just as important as what happens outside the bedroom. So, what are you waiting for? Your date is waiting.

Crystal Adair-Benning
After sixteen years as a Wedding Planner with Distinct Occasions, Crystal has plenty of tales. She is the author of bestseller, Wedding Planner Problems. She has been married and divorced and now happily lives in sin. World traveler and digital nomad — never far from a pineapple, palm tree and surfboard. Unicorns are her spirit animal.