how to play matchmaker

What is it about being a newlywed that makes you think you’re a relationship expert? It’s like your marriage is evidence of your relationship expertise.

You finally get it right, and you’re suddenly a fountain of wisdom to your single friends.
To be fair, I always considered myself a matchmaker. My failed relationships were irrelevant. No, I didn’t have any success stories or personal examples, but I still insisted on being called the love doctor.

I’ve seen a few friends that I’ve paired up break up so I should have learned my lesson, but I did not.

I strategically paired up two friends in my wedding party. And so it was. They laughed, they danced, they thought of love. Weddings are perfect for this kind of thing. Weeks later he would visit from New York. And so it was again. They laughed, and hung out, and it was perfect. I’m not sure how weirded out Zach was by my excitement, but it didn’t matter.

I gave her advice often, after all, I knew him much better than she did. One day she asked me a question that I confidently answered.

“Should I text him today if I haven’t heard from him? We usually text everyday, but I’ve been waiting on him to text me first.”
I spoke in my wisdom, “No, just wait. If he wants to talk to you, he’ll text you.”

She asked if I was sure, I told her to trust me. I never texted Zach first and look where that got us. I went on some rant about guys liking girls who play hard to get, and texting him would be a mistake.

I’m assuming she took my advice because I’m married, so I must know how this stuff works, who knows. The result? Zero communication for almost a week.

There was confusion on both sides. Apparently he was waiting to hear from her. And she was waiting to hear from him. And there I was, somewhere in the middle of their relationship and completely wrong.

Things got sorted, and I owed apologies. I believe I finally learned my lesson. Everyone is different, thus every relationship is different. My marriage does not make me an expert. Oops.

The key is knowing boundaries. If you must, here are some tips on how to play matchmaker from my bad experiences.

How to Play Matchmaker

Ask both parties where they’re at when it comes to relationships long before you make the suggestion. Some people just aren’t looking.
Always check with both parties before relaying information. If you don’t, you may end up embarrassing someone.
Never break trust in either friendship. If they want you to transfer information, they’ll tell you what to spread.
Don’t get either party overly excited about the new relationship. Simply spark interest.
Step away. Don’t stick around. Don’t dabble. Once the dialogue has started, it’s no longer your baby. Sit back and enjoy your matchmaking success.

how to play matchmaker