Sea Island, Georgia // Population: 306

This tiny island is one of the Golden Isles of Georgia with unbeatable access to the Atlantic Ocean. Most of the island is privately owned, and it boasts two luxurious resorts that’ll take your breath away. It’s a great little spot, that is if you’re interested in the beach, golf, spas, and horseback riding.

Quebec, Canada // Canada’s 2nd Largest Province

If you’re not big fans of the beach and don’t have a bazillion dollars to take a euro-trip, then Quebec is perfect for your honeymoon. You’ll feel like you’re far, far away from the U.S. in this french-speaking country, and you can visit year round. There’s great skiing in the winter, and beautiful parks, museums and festivals in the summer.

Portland, Maine // Population: 66,000

They don’t call Maine “America’s Secret” for nothing. Not only do they have incredible seafood, but there are tons of beaches and beautiful hikes. Portland is the epitome of a picture-perfect New England town, and if you prefer to take it easy, they have great shopping and boat tours.

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Malta // Mediterranean Island Country

This tiny country is an archipelago close to Italy in the Mediterranean Sea. It’s way less crowded than Italy, and it has some of the best beaches in the world. If you want a secluded stay, visit the remote island of Gozo. Talk about a getaway with peace and quiet.

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True, I adore the moment that I see my husband walk into the room after a lengthy trip, but has my heart grown actually fonder? I don’t think so, rather, my heart grows fonder as we spend time learning and growing together. My heart grows fonder when he teaches our son how to use a spoon, when he draws a bath for me, and when he chooses not to bite back at my (occasional) temper.

All of that said, marriage has taught me to appreciate this clichéd attitude towards absence.

Recently, while recovering from a cold, my husband thought it best to quarantine me in our bedroom. He slept on the couch for three nights, acting heroic despite the guest bed being available (he prefers the TV in the living room). We spoke during the day and went about our (somewhat modified) routines. He was not ‘absent’ in the traditional sense, but he was absent from our bed. And before you start assuming about our reunion, my story has nothing to do with sex.

So, John and I slept in separate places for three nights.

This doesn’t compare to spouses who spend months and years without their significant other, people I greatly admire, but it was a deviation from our norm nonetheless. When he returned with some hesitation (my sniffles still being present), I found myself giddy to have my midnight chat buddy back. Our snuggles and laughter and whispers quickly made me forget about the few days of separation.

And I experienced what could loosely be described as a fonder heart due to absence.

I easily admit that a whole bed to myself had not been so much of a sacrifice, but as it turns out, I would much rather fight for space with the man I love than enjoy extra leg room.

Absence does not necessarily increase my love towards my husband, but it does force me to take notice of the details of our relationship that mean the most. I suppose that may be the true meaning of the cliché and a lesson worth remembering.

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Although I am a native San Antonion, I had never been down to this weekly event. But now, our lives have changed.

Imagine this: freshly made breakfast tacos, puppies running around, mint chocolate iced coffee, a cool, sunny morning, and crepes… mind blowing crepes. Have I peaked your interest yet?

When we arrived downtown that breezy, summer morning, my hopes weren’t high. We parked on a side street somewhere near the Pearl Brewery and walked towards the noise. This was my view as we approached it.

What did we discover? It was magical. The energy was high, and it smelled like fresh baked bread. I couldn’t help but peer into each booth curious about what they were selling.

It was the morning, so of course our first stop was the infamous coffee stand. Luckily, a breakfast taco booth caught my eye on our way. Listen, I grew up in San Antonio, I know breakfast tacos. These were the freshest tacos I’ve ever had. I am pretty sure that tortilla was made an hour earlier.

It didn’t stop there. I continued to be impressed, booth after booth. Zach and I realized we were going to need to start splitting each thing we bought so that we didn’t fill up. The coffee was organic, free-trade goodness. Z got the bold blend, and I got the mint chocolate blend… I’m pretty sure I made the better decision.

Our next stop was the crepe stand.

I’m also incredibly familiar with crepes. Yes, I am 50% Canadian French, but I also grew up in a home that took pride in homemade crepes, and I’ve tried a lot of variations over the years. But my goodness, these crepes! Fluffy, Nutella goodness. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hire a petit Frenchman to cook those for us every Saturday morning.

The Pearl Brewery Farmers Market is now one of our favorite things to do. It’s every Saturday morning, and we try to go as often as we can. I would highly recommend it to anyone in San Antonio. I don’t have time to get into the rest of the magical details, just go. And while you’re there, try the kolaches. Yeah, you’re going to need an empty stomach.

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Anxiety can be devastating, and the longer you pretend it isn’t there, the worse it will get.

It was almost like one day the switch was flipped, and I had anxiety. The trigger may be an obvious one, but it wasn’t at the time. I had just moved to New York City a week earlier, and it was the first time I was completely on my own.

I was alone and confronted with myself for the first time. A lot of the traumatic experiences from my past showed up unexpectedly. I didn’t have any friends around. And I was dealing with a break up with a guy who was able to move on within weeks despite the years we had spent together. Let’s just say it was a lot for a 21-year-old girl.

I’ll never forget the first flight I boarded after the anxiety started.

Flight anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks, and since then, I’ve been trying to figure out where it came from.

I was looking out of the window, and I felt trapped. Not claustrophobic trapped, but trapped in my own head. I felt like I had one million things to say, and I was unable to say them. Like I needed someone next to me, but the seat was empty. I needed to get off the plane, but we were moving. I had never been afraid of flying. Where was this flight anxiety coming from?

In the next year, I would find myself afraid of everything from riding the train to stopped traffic to being unable to reach anyone on the phone in the middle of the night. If I had even the smallest reason to be afraid, I would be, but it was always the worst when it came to flights.

I assumed that if I panicked on one flight, I would panic on the rest.

So I would build up fear for days before a flight and have to calm myself down the day of. I even convinced myself I had motion sickness (a very new development), and that any medication to take care of that motion sickness would hurt me in some way.

Anxiety will take over your thoughts if you don’t talk about it.

My new husband has opened my eyes to a completely new world that involves talking through things. I was programmed to keep things like this inside of my head. I didn’t realize that was hurting me. There are a few things that I have found to help me with my anxiety, and I feel like it goes away more and more every day.

Flight Anxiety Advice:

Take a deep breath. Anxiety can trigger your brain to produce more adrenaline and go into a type of survival mode. The key here is taking deep breaths to calm your mind and your body down.

Identify it. What are you afraid of? Don’t allow your mind to wander into unreasonable, fear-inducing territory. Take control of these thoughts, and realize there’s probably nothing to be afraid of outside of panic itself.

Talk through it. If you’re struggling through this alone, stop. Let your loved ones in on what’s going on. You may be feeling the pressure of pent up anxiety or trauma, or you may be upset with your current situation. Take control by letting people in.

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Zach’s work requires him to travel. Not often, and not for long periods of time, but every month or two he’s going somewhere. I know of wives that would travel with their husband on a business trip, which is kind of silly to me. I like marriage as a symbiotic mutualism, not a life-consuming act of entosis. Excuse the microbiology reference if you think I took it a bit far.

You’re probably asking yourself at this point what science and travelling spouses have in common? My answer is a little something I cleverly call the out of town lockdown.

When Zach’s gone and I get home from work, I don’t just lock the door. I double lock every door, set the alarm, and close all of the blinds. If I see even one blind lifted or crooked, I fix it. It would be foolish to leave a peep-hole for the robber, murderer, and/or any other bad guy that might be stalking me.

It’s not just me. Last week, my friend Meg sent me a picture of her arsenal when Colin was out of town.

Wedshock post-reading predators, you should take note of that picture. Texas women do not play around.

There are countless reasons you shouldn’t dread your husband’s absence, as sad as it may sound. Just keep in mind that it’s temporary, and let your mind be persuaded:

5 Good Practices with Your Husband on a Business Trip

Embrace the solitude. I never realize how interwoven my life is with Zach until he leaves. Yes, I miss him, but how often do I get to blast Taylor Swift and talk to myself in our apartment when he’s there? Not as often as I’d like.

Assess where you’re at as an individual. It’s easy to get caught up in where you’re at as a couple, but you should still work on yourself as an individual. Look at your personal struggles and focus on these things during this time. Your husband benefits from this too.

Reflect on your marriage. Where have you been excelling or falling behind as a couple? Marriage is hard work, and sometimes you have to take a step back and evaluate where you’re at so you can move forward.

Remember safety actually is important. Women live alone all the time, and I think it’s a wonderful thing, but that doesn’t mean you should disregard making smart choices. Don’t post how much you miss your spouse all over social media, or how lonely or scared you are. You never know who is reading. Oh, and lock your doors.

Spend one-on-one time with your friends. So often you spend time with other couples, or you have your friends over to hang out with you and your spouse, but how often do you get to spend alone time with any of your friends? Take advantage of the time your partner is gone to nurture your friendships.

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When we arrived at our beautiful resort, we were greeted by relaxing aromas, helpful attendants…and tons of clouds. It was March, so it rained most of the time we were there, but we didn’t let it ruin our vacation. We stayed cozied up in the room, we laughed, we ate until we thought we’d explode, and then once our food settled, we’d eat some more.

Our honeymoon was wonderful, but one of my hands-down-favorite memories was our excursion.

To start with, we woke up at 6:00am, something you should never do on vacation. After a quick, packaged breakfast, we were picked up in a large, white van that proceeded to pick up every vacationer in our vicinity. We drove an hour and a half without air conditioning to a sketchy building where we were asked to switch vans, and then we drove some more.

We arrived at a beach approximately one thousand miles away from our hotel, and the fun had only just begun. We snorkeled in the frigid ocean with a single turtle (even though we were promised a multitude), we swam in underwater caves despite my intense fear of small spaces, and lastly, our departure was delayed almost an hour because one of the kids in our group had left his gear at the first beach. The kid’s northeastern mother spent the majority of that time convincing our tour guide that her kid wasn’t the culprit. He had spent most of the day whining and playing on his iPhone and just being a general nuisance to the group, so we weren’t convinced it was outside of the realm of possibility. Our guide resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to get his gear back, and we headed home.

Our excursion was nothing less than unforgettable, but the best part was that we experienced it together.

There was rain, a little arguing, and even an excursion from hell…but I’d say our honeymoon was close to perfect. The food, the coffee, the unnecessary amount of pools, the sweet conversations about our future…what’s more perfect than that? All because I married my best friend.

Now that the honeymoon is over, the world is ours to take on. And since I learned a lot from our experience, I want to share some of my most helpful Honeymoon Do’s and Don’t’s with you.

Honeymoon Do’s

1. Make a Honeymoon Tip Jar. You’d be surprised how much you end up spending on tips, transportation and travel, even when you’re going to an all-inclusive resort. Put the jar out at your reception, then have a groomsman take it around the party to collect a few extra dollars.
2. Think All-Inclusive. This was one of the best parts of the trip. Not having to stress about money is great, but unlimited food and drinks are better. Plus, it’s usually cheaper, and there are a ton of high-rated resorts and cruises to choose from.
3. Try 1-3 Hour Excursions. These are usually priced well, and they don’t take up a full day. Oh, and if it’s terrible like ours was, then you won’t waste as much time.
4. Tip well at your resort. Usually you’ll have the same small group of people serving you, so it’s always good to make new friends in this department. Not only will you get better service, but you might reap some other unexpected benefits.
5. Turn off your phone and computer. Isn’t this one of the best parts of vacation, anyway? Becoming inaccessible to your family and friends will help you soak up this time with your new spouse. Don’t worry, real life will be waiting for you when you get home.

Honeymoon Don’t’s

1. Bring your to-do list. Whether it’s related to work or moving in together, do your best to leave your to-do’s at home. Instead, commit to unwinding and dreaming up a beautiful future with your partner.
2. Go on all day excursions. Sure, I might be a bit biased on this one, but if you hate waking up early on vacation as much as I do, don’t do it. Not only are they expensive, but there are too many half day options that don’t involve tons of driving or being gone all day. Plus, it might not be as good as advertised, and if that’s the case, you won’t be wasting an entire day.
3. Get a sunburn. Y’all, seriously—use sunscreen and avoid the dreaded “vacation burn.” Forgetting this important piece could make for an uncomfortable trip…there are few things worse than sleeping with a sunburn.
4. Feel pressure to leave your comfort zone. If you don’t feel like leaving your room all day, you don’t have to. If you decide to lay by the beach from sunrise to sunset while people serve you fruity drinks, enjoy every minute. This is your honeymoon, and the only other opinion you have to consider is your new spouse’s.
5. Leave the morning after your wedding. This one was huge for Zach and I. Weddings are exhausting, and traveling the morning after can be miserable. I suggest you wait one or two full days before you take off.

If you have any honeymoon horror stories that you’d like to share or any wisdom for grooms and brides-to-be, hit us up on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. We’d love to hear from you.

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