The sun didn’t rise with a smile, and I wasn’t greeted by dozens of songbirds when I opened my eyes. Instead, I rolled over to find my best friend, Megan, passed out six inches from my face and the sky full of clouds. It was my wedding day, and I made a promise to myself:

Nothing will bother you today, and you’ll only do things that you want to do. Move slow, delegate, and soak it up.

After breakfast, I decided I wanted to take a bath and finish writing my vows. It sounds less efficient in retrospect—about half an hour passed, and I was left with three sentences and soggy paper. I got out and went to the bedroom to finish my vows aka the most important speech I’d ever give. After a few minutes, my hairstylist arrived, but it didn’t stress me out. I can just write while she works.

Once my hair was finished, I went to bed…not to sleep, just to bed. I put on my robe, I cuddled up under the covers, and I sat there for hours. It was my wedding day, and my idea of relaxing involved a bed. My wedding planner was in and out of the room, attempting to disrupt my leisure, but I wouldn’t allow it. Some things weren’t happening as planned and some things still needed to be decided, but I was finished planning. It was my day. After her third or fourth attempt to rile me up, she left me alone.

A couple of hours later, I called all six of my bridesmaids into the room to practice reading my vows out loud. They all sat on the king-size bed while I read. It felt like glorified story time, but I had most of them in tears by the end. Perfect.

The rest felt more like a whirlwind. We finished getting ready, we took pictures, we went to the ceremony, I got married, we took more pictures, we went to the reception, we mingled, we danced…and then it was time to go. It was amazing how quickly it moved. Thankfully, I remained in a relaxed state of mind throughout the day. I was sure to soak in each moment.

The most flustered I got was ten seconds before I walked down the aisle—it was windy, so my veil wanted to blow off of my head and fly into the distance. But it must have had pity on me because it decided to cooperate at the last second. My less-than-effortless messy hairstyle adapted well to the windy weather too, a detail I couldn’t have predicted but that I’m so thankful for.

I’m still blown away by the utter perfection of my day despite the chaos, and I’m convinced it had everything to do with the silent promise I made to myself when I woke up that day. So now that I’m basically a pro at becoming the most chill bride ever, I’ll share my tips with you.

How to Relax on Your Wedding Day:

Be intentional. Clear your plate of all stressful, last-minute tasks and only do things that you find relaxing.This might take some planning the week before the wedding, but it’s well worth it. A few relaxing wedding day activities include: taking a bath, reading a book, practicing yoga, and drinking mimosas with your bridal party.

Delegate, delegate, delegate. Anything that’s been left until your wedding day can most likely be handled by someone else. Things will come up, but that’s what wedding planners, mothers, in-laws, and bridal parties are for. Your only job is to sit back and enjoy.

Communicate with your fiancé. Sure, there’s an old tradition somewhere that states this is bad luck…but who cares. Communicating with your partner will help alleviate stress and bring added calm and joy to your day. Our recommendation? Send handwritten notes back and forth so that you can hold on to them forever.

Escape the chaos. There will be a ton going on at your venue between the set-up and execution of your event, so find a place outside of the commotion to reflect and relax. If you’re needed for set up, try to get your part done the day before the wedding.

Soak it up. Breathe deeply, and be present. Don’t look behind or ahead, just enjoy the moments in front of you. Smell the flowers, put your finger in the frosting, and laugh with your family and friends. Lacking presence on their wedding day is one of the most common regrets brides and grooms share…learn from them.

How to Relax on Your Wedding Day Pin

Alycia Brown Wedshock

Author Bio. Alycia is the founder of Wedshock, the author of Wedding Vow Writing, and a newlywed of 4 years. She lives in New York with her husband above a publishing company that refuses to print her books despite her persuasive baking efforts. See what she’s up to on her website, Instagram and Twitter.