Sometimes you feel like your significant other has lost their marbles. When you’re in the midst of it, you feel alone, but you’re not. We’ve all been there. So how should you communicate when you’re convinced your partner is a crazy person? Check out the tips below.
Scenario #1: They’re wrong (but won’t admit it), and you’re right.
Before you go jumping to conclusions that your partner is, in fact, wrong…do a reality check. Is he/she really wrong? And are you 100% sure that you are right? Many times, there is not an objective right or wrong. Instead, reality is subjective. What you think of as the truth may not be the truth. But what your partner thinks of as the truth might also not be the truth. Why? Because many times there is no ONE truth.
The best thing to do in this scenario is to subscribe to this life philosophy: perception is reality. And while you might disagree with your parnter’s outlook on the world, it doesn’t necessarily make them wrong. And it doesn’t make you wrong either. Love your partner enough to agree to disagree. You are not the same person, so allow yourselves to be on different pages sometimes.
Scenario #2: What they’re saying or expressing doesn’t make sense.
This one stems directly from the first scenario – they go hand-in-hand. If you think they’re wrong, then of course they don’t make sense! If they made sense, then you wouldn’t be disagreeing, right?
What you should do here is sit down and focus on two things: (1) good communication skills, and (2) empathy.
Your partner probably thinks they are making sense. So ask them probing questions like, “can you explain this more to me so I can understand you better?” Ask them to clarify. They might not think they need to, but you need to encourage them to do so. Usually when someone sends a message, they think it’s clear and that the other person should understand them even when they don’t.
Empathy is also crucial. It’s trying to see the other person’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with them. If perception is reality, then their perception is their reality. So seek understanding. Tell them you are trying to see the situation through their eyes. It’ll do wonders for your relationship.
Scenario #3: They’re being overly emotional or unreasonable.
This is pretty common. It’s natural to think your partner is crazy when they’re overly emotional – and unreasonable! But when you’re fighting with them, you naturally disagree. That’s why you’re fighting, right?
If emotions are running too high, take a break. Go to a different room, or take a drive. Both of you need to cool off. There is something that literally happens in a human’s brain when their emotions are running high. The logical part of the brain turns off, for all intents and purposes. And you can’t solve problems when this happens! Both people need to be calm, logical, and rational. Once your partner (or both of you) return to normal, then you can resume talking and trying to come up with reasonable, mutual solutions.
Bottom line: None of us are immune to feeling like our partner is crazy – at least some times. But just because we feel that way doesn’t make it true. We all get emotional and unreasonable, and it’s inevitable in relationships too. But if you practice these tips, you’ll find that your partner seems more sane.
Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. She also tries to imitate Oprah during her regular appearances on the TV show Living Dayton. Although not a world-famous author or speaker yet, she’s working on it. She’s also a single mom of two boys who think she’s a horrible cook. Follow her here on Twitter and Facebook.