Something starts to happen in new marriage that’s hard to explain. We’re two years, six months, and two weeks into this thing, and I can finally feel the “newly” beginning to wear off. To be clear, this isn’t a negative process or feeling, it’s just different. By this time, we’ve seen that new marriage is full of highs and lows (and to’s and fro’s), but it seems to mostly be full of lessons to be learned.

And this new process? I assume it’s just another piece of the puzzle.

A few quick things I’ve noticed two and a half years in: 1. We don’t take as many pictures. 2. The in-laws feel more like family. 3. Everybody wants to talk about babies.

The last photo we have together taken on June 10th.

The last photo we have together taken on June 10th.

When we first got married, every occasion was a good one to take a picture together. Date nights, vacations, and morning coffee all had a hint of “specialness” that needed to be photographed and shared. Today, we usually only take pictures when we’re trying to be funny.

I’ve also discovered in-laws can be a wonderful thing. Who doesn’t want an extra set of loving, supportive people in their corner?  I didn’t know I did until I had them, and now, I don’t even mind sharing holidays.

And lastly,  the baby thing. Almost every couple in our circle of friends is either talking about kids or with child, but we’re hoping to do things differently as far as we can help it. There are a few more degrees to be earned, books to be written, and businesses to be started in this family before it grows. God, please don’t put my foot in my mouth after this is published. Please and thank you.
Technically, we’re still newlyweds. Wikipedia is wildly generous and states that you’re still a newlywed for up to four years. Although we still have newlywed questions, we’re now also full of newlywed advice.

For example, our friends who are still dating seem to think we’re relationships gurus. Dating seems like a less-complicated process now that I’m on this side of it, but that might not be the fairest assessment. After all, when you’re married, you have to compromise and make things work. If that happened too often in my dating relationships, I was out. Again, probably not the fairest assessment.

The craziest part of this new season is that some days we’re marriage pros and other days we’re utterly lost. Sometimes we’ll keep our fights from getting heated and master the art of communication, but other times, we’re still trying to remember why we got into this thing in the first place.

Perhaps the ebbs and flows better define where we’re at: just on the other side of newlywed and trying to find our balance.