how to treat your husband

If I were to write a post about how to treat your husband, “like a child” would not be at the top. As a matter of fact, you wouldn’t be able to find that particular phrase anywhere.

Despite what late-night cartoons and paper towel commercials often tell us, being the man of the house shouldn’t translate into being another (bigger) child.

Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson, the dad who’s glued to the television despite his family’s need for him elsewhere? You know these men well.

You’ve seen these husbands on screen over and over again. I find this perception of men annoying because 1. I don’t think it’s depicting the cultural norm, and 2. I think it excuses passive, lazy, and irresponsible behavior.

I realize there are a few bra-rebuking ladies out there that think I am trying to express a less-than-feminist sentiment when I say that I think it’s extremely important to crush this perception of men. Women have spent decades crying equality (thank you), and the progress we’ve seen is incredible. But I’m having a hard time watching this culture damage our men’s role in marriages and families.

My husband is not too absent-minded to remember our anniversary. He is not too preoccupied with the game to completely ignore my statements. And he is not too lazy to overlook the chores that pile up every evening.

My husband is thoughtful, attentive, and helpful- and I don’t think he’s in the minority. My guess is that these men are not as funny to watch on late night television. After all, Peter Griffin wouldn’t be Peter Griffin if he wasn’t trying to bring a dozen tropical birds on a road trip.

I titled this post “How to Treat Your Husband” because I think it’s important that women don’t allow these cultural messages to affect their marriages.

Your husband forgets to take the trash out and your first thought is “of course he forgot, men forget.” So instead of understanding that people forget things sometimes, you get annoyed and think something disparaging about men and housework. This thought process is not ok.

He’s watching a football game, and you enter the room. You say something to see if he noticed you’re there, and he’s silent. You think, “Anytime he’s watching sports, I’m invisible.” Or maybe he didn’t hear you? Maybe he thought you were on the phone or talking to someone else? Yeah, still not ok.

My point is this: don’t put your husband in a box.

I’m writing about this because I’ve noticed myself starting to do it, and it always ends terribly because it’s not Zach’s fault I assume the worst about his behavior. Respect your husband by trying to understand why he does what he does. Odds are it’s not because he’s an idiot. Or lazy and irresponsible. When wives accept these stereotypes, they’re beginning a painful cycle.